AUGUST 2026, EDITION 5

August: My thoughts on the masculinity conversation

Also: I'm back from some burnout with some learnings from it

QUICK SUMMARY

Here's the TLDR version. If any of these draw your attention, you can find more detail in the rest of the email.

• Our next event (August 27th): We'll look at healthy masculinity from a fresh perspective. Sign up here:
  ​A Roadmap for Modern Masculinity: What It Looks Like and How to Practice It​
  • Check out my (10min) YouTube post about it
• Our Attention Liberation Guide: This was very popular. Did you download it yet? As community members, you get direct access to these resources
• Human Skills Practice: Lessons from my burnout. Read about it near the bottom
• What We Are Reading: Dopamine Nation - a fascinating look at how the brain works with pain and pleasure and how dopamine drives addiction to screens and substances

Our Next Event: A Roadmap for Modern Masculinity​

There seem to be so many loud voices telling men and young boys that there is a battle going on between men and women. That to succeed as a man today you have to act a certain way which involves doing things on your own, control, and domination, especially in our relationships.

Our relationships: whether intimate, at work, or in our community, can be some of the places where we experience the deepest connection and support available to us in life. Yet for so many today, it's another battleground for control that brings friction and disconnection.

This is just one effect of the system I've been calling manufactured disconnection.

In this event I'll be sharing my thoughts on what masculinity and femininity are (hint: masculine doesn't simply mean man, not femininity woman), how these essences show up in our lives, what's been lost, and why the manosphere has been such a loud voice.

More importantly, I'll give my thoughts on what I think modern masculinity can look like and how to practice it.

This is a conversation for men, partners, parents, and anyone wanting an alternative view on this growing problem. I hope to see you there.

Join us to hear my thoughts on what a healthy roadmap could look like, and some ways to make it a reality. This event is for anyone struggling with this topic, not just men.

Practicing Human Skills

Every month, we offer a human skill that you can practice to improve your relationships and health. Some human skills don't come naturally, but they can with practice.

I experienced some intense burnout recently. I'm not sure I've been more overwhelmed in my life. Did you notice there was no newsletter last month? That was why.

There were a lot of things I did to come back from this burnout, but one that stood out was setting aside lots of time to be "bored".

Coming out of our attention event in May, this was even more eye opening. I made sure to set aside most of my free time away from devices, without music (even though it's one of my favorite things to do), by myself. Not even a book. The only thing I had was a pen and paper.

As humans, we have a brain function called the default mode network (DMN). It only activates in the times where we aren't doing anything. Scientists believe it is a part of our brain that helps us to be social creatures. If we never give our brains the space, the DMN won't activate.

In giving myself that space, it helped me to clear out a lot, and let some new ideas come through. I've been trying to keep up with this and give my DMN a few minutes to activate every day.

The challenge to you: Can you give your brain some time each day? Doing absolutely nothing? It's interesting to me that this "nothing" actually activates quite a lot of things.

What We're Reading - Dopamine Nation​

Anna Lembke is a Stanford psychiatrist, and this book explains the machinery underneath everything we've been talking about with attention. Why the pull toward our phones feels physical rather than optional. Why more of a good thing stops working. Why the relief we're reaching for is the thing making us restless.

Lembke's central point is that pleasure and pain share the same circuitry, and a world engineered for constant easy reward leaves us in a low-grade deficit, which is exactly the condition that keeps us scrolling. I appreciated her honesty in her own struggles with dopamine.

Read it alongside Attensity!. One names the system, the other explains what the system is doing to your body.

Get it here.

“Anything that’s human is mentionable, and anything that is mentionable can be more manageable. When we can talk about our feelings, they become less overwhelming, less upsetting, and less scary. The people we trust with that important talk can help us know that we are not alone.”

-Mister Rogers

Thanks for reading! Don't hesitate to reply directly to this email with thoughts or questions.